he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
