CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
COCAINE IS GR8
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
