Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
