You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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