Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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