Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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