I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
