Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
