My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think I died a long time ago.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
