i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
