If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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