whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
as a side note pls kill me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
