I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
