he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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