I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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