glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
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He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
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You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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