I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
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Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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