i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
