Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm passing your future prison.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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