I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
