I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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