lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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