My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
