you have to choose: penises or morals?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
