How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Shame is for Republicans.
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