he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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