i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
