She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
