She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
