i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
