real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
