I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
