Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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