Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
