what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
