Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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