i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
