I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize