Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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