dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
