I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
