69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
