i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
