i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if you like me you must not know who I am
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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