Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
