standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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