wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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