Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Text me some of your sweat
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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