I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
