woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
