I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
