yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
