are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
