don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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