you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
