then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
