letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
