Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Come see our sink grown plant.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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