This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
