dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
