does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
