So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
