One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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